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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620651">Sincere and True</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterPooja/pseuds/Maxine'>Maxine (WinchesterPooja)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coda, First Kiss, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, Spoilers for Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:12:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterPooja/pseuds/Maxine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It takes a while for Dean to finally break.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>In which Cas comes back and gets to listen to Dean's confession.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sincere and True</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm hella emotional about that episode and I'm supposed to be writing my thesis but here is me crying over That Scene instead. Unbetaed, so every single mistake is mine. I'm on meds and half screaming as I write this. Enjoy. Kudos/comments are amazing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> Sincere and True </strong>
</p><p>It takes a while for Dean to finally break. Sam's been expecting it, but then again, he doesn't think he quite was. He'd texted Eileen already, told her he'd meet her soon. She's in a bit of shock after being snapped out of existence and then being brought back. About Chuck, about everything else. She needs some time, she said, and Sam knows they have all the time in the world, now that Chuck is gone. He feels his heart swell when she says she'll talk soon because Sam knows they will.</p><p>That isn't what is worrying him right now.</p><p>The worry is about something entirely different. It's about Dean. Dean, behaving as if nothing happened. The stoicism, the haunted look in his eyes that he can't quite cover up so efficiently.</p><p>Sam and Dean begin writing their own story by visiting a local diner first. It's small and silly, but it means a lot. To know that no one is puppeteering them anymore. To just have a stupid meal in peace. Dean isn't so much at peace, though, the way he picks at his burger and swallows down the beer, looking like he barely tastes anything. Sam is patient with his brother, nods when Dean pushes his plate away and asks for the check.</p><p>They drive back to the bunker, silent. Sam can feel it building up, the absence of Cas palpable and Dean's pain visible. He doesn't know how it all went down, but losing Cas another time… Dean never coped before, either.</p><p>It's when they enter the bunker that Sam realises just how different this time is. Just how much harder it's hit Dean. It's like a bad dream, all in slow motion, as Dean shuts the door behind them, then leans into it, sliding to the floor beneath them. When Dean starts to cry — to earnestly sob, and all Sam can do, is rush to his brother's side and hope Dean will accept some comfort from him.</p><p>
  <strong>~o~</strong>
</p><p>Dean didn't know that it was possible to be in impossible pain, and yet be numb at the same time. He can barely feel the tears dampening his cheeks as his chest hurts, heaving sobs breaking out of him. Sam's there, Sam's around like always, on his knees beside Dean, but Dean can't hear what his brother is saying. The pain is too loud.</p><p>
  <em>Cas loved him. Cas loved him all this time, and Dean never said back. Cas died. Died without knowing just how much Dean loved him too.</em>
</p><p>Dean doesn't know how long he sits like that, pain breaking out of him in earth-shattering sobs. He doesn't know how long it takes for Sam to coax him into bed, to fall asleep, still crying. When Dean wakes back up, it's early in the morning and Sam's watching him, perched on a chair beside his bed, eyes red-rimmed, evidence that he's been grieving Cas too. Sam is alert as soon as he realises that Dean is up. He gets up.</p><p>"Hey," he says, then clears his throat, tiredness dripping off his voice, "how're you feeling?"</p><p>Dean takes a deep breath, looks right into his brother's eyes. "Cas loved me," he says.</p><p>There's silence. Silence that drags way too long, before Sam clears his throat again. "I know," he says.</p><p>"No," Dean replies, "not like… not like family… he—"</p><p>"Cas <em>loved</em> you," Sam says, "I know. I know what you mean." Dean had thought Sam would tease him about it but Sam doesn't seem to be in the mood for that either. The loss is too big. There's nothing left to laugh about.</p><p>"How did you know?" Dean asks him.</p><p>Sam gives him a sad smile. "It was obvious," he says, "he's loved you for years."</p><p>
  <strong>~o~</strong>
</p><p>"Cas is asleep," Jack says, digging into his Lucky Charms. He smiles at his bowl. "This makes me so happy."</p><p>Dean tries not to roll his eyes at their three-year-old God being excited over cereal. They have more pressing matters at hand. He takes a sharp breath. "So you can't bring him back?" he asks Jack.</p><p>"I can," says Jack, "but you will have to find a reason to wake him up." He meets gazes with Dean, sympathy and sadness evident in his eyes, and Dean hates it. He doesn't need this from their toddler of all people. Jack might be God now but for Sam, Dean and… (and Cas) he's always going to be a kid. It feels dumb to think of it that way but Dean thinks it's a basic parenting emotion that they've all jointly acquired.</p><p>"Cas spoke his truth before the Empty took him," Jack continues, tilting his head slightly at Dean. "He's at peace."</p><p>That last statement gets Dean's heart fluttering because this is just convenient, isn't it? For Cas to confess his undying love for Dean and promptly die? Fucking on brand. Dean's not letting it go so easily.</p><p>He presses his lips together and makes his decision. "If the Empty won't come after us for it, bring him back," he tells Jack. "I'll take care of the rest."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Jack asks him.</p><p>"Yes," Dean replies. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll wake that bastard up."</p><p>
  <strong>~o~</strong>
</p><p>Cas comes back while Dean is sleeping. He materialises near Dean in his bed and Dean never realises until he turns over and stretches an arm out to find someone else beside him. He sits up with a jolt, then turns on the lamp, unable to believe his eyes. Cas is here. Cas is back.</p><p>Dean takes Cas's hand in his and squeezes it. "Cas," he says, "you're back."</p><p>It sounds dumb and inadequate at the back of Dean's throat, his emotions crawling up to join it. Everything Dean's felt these last few days and over the years, everything he hadn't addressed. Now Cas is here, Cas can't be at peace because he doesn't know how Dean feels.</p><p>Dean takes a shuddering breath, feels his eyes burn. "Okay," he says. "You're at peace. I know. Are you, though?"</p><p>Cas continues to sleep, oblivious to everything Dean feels. It can't be that easy, Dean knows. He climbs out of bed and walks over to Cas's side and kneels beside his sleeping form. He puts a hand on Cas's head, rakes his hand through his hair.</p><p>"You should have waited for me," he says, "you didn't even know what I wanted to say. You just… you just thought you couldn't have — have <em>this</em>, but…" Dean's breath shudders, eyes welling. He blinks, lets a tear fall. "I thought, you know, I didn't know you were in the same page. I fuck—"</p><p>Dean wipes a hand down his face. He shuts his eyes momentarily, feeling two more tears squeeze out of closed lids. He wishes… he wishes he were like Sam or even Cas, half as eloquent as either of them, but all he knows is to get drunk and pretend to smile like nothing happened.</p><p>"You changed me too," he says. "You've always…" he swallows, "you've always been there. You taught me free will, <em>real</em> free will. You rebelled against blood to find your real family. Your real family that—" Dean's voice gets stuck in his throat. "You've been family to me. To Sammy. You always came back for us. For <em>me</em>."</p><p>Cas doesn't move. Dean moves closer. "I need you to come back again," he says, resting his nose on Cas's cheek, breath hitching with sobs held back. "We need you, Cas," he says. "I need you. And… and I—" Dean swallows, lets out a shaky breath to say what he's been meaning to say for years.</p><p>"Cas," he says, "I love you. I love you so much. I need you to come back to me, okay? Right now. I need you to wake up."</p><p>There is silence. Deathly, deafening silence. Dean's words are out there if Cas is listening. Out there for Cas to process and to know that he can wake up again, that life awaits them both. But then again, nothing happens, because Cas won't even move. Cas is still sleeping, mind floating in the void, in a world devoid of Dean.</p><p>Dean wants to rage. He wants to call Jack back and yell and maybe beg. He wants Cas back; he needs this to happen and he doesn't care what it takes. He's willing to bring heaven and earth together for this. For Cas. And—</p><p>
  <em>It happens.</em>
</p><p>Dean feels Cas stir underneath him and looks up, blinking tears out of his eyes, studying Cas as he moves.</p><p>"Hey," he whispers, "Cas?"</p><p>Cas moves, groans, then breathes, eyelids opening to reveal brilliant blue underneath. Dean sees him, feels a sob rip out of him as he laughs. "C-Cas?"</p><p>"Dean?" Cas's voice is rough, more gravelly than usual. He's confused, edges of his eyes crinkling, and Dean laugh-sobs again, heart soaring as he squeezes Cas's hand in his.</p><p>"Welcome back, asshole," he says, "you're a fucking drama queen, you know that?"</p><p>Cas chuckles, tired, eyes a little glassy as he brings his other hand to cover Dean's. "I know," he says, "I love you too, Dean."</p><p>Dean heart flutters, butterflies in his stomach. "Me too," he says. "I love you."</p><p>"I heard."</p><p>"Figures," says Dean sniggering. "The only thing that could get your brain outta the Empty was that, huh?"</p><p>Cas doesn't answer. He just looks at Dean, confused, and Dean feels a chuckle rumble out of his chest as he takes Cas in. All of Cas — that fucking sexy face and hair and eyes and the crinkles and his arms and hips and legs and—</p><p>Before he knows it, Dean is bending over, meeting lips with Cas. Cas doesn't reject it, arms winding around Dean's neck as he returns the kiss, pulling Dean down to lie on him. Dean works his lips with a passion he's never felt before, his heart overjoyed with love, fluttering out quickening beats. He kisses Cas until he can't breathe anymore. Until he feels like he'll pass out. When they break apart, Dean pulls Cas towards himself, touching the tip of his nose with Cas's, then connecting foreheads with him. They remain in each other's arms, in the warmth of their love, their breaths and heartbeats mingling into one.</p><p>They've always been one. It just took them a while to figure it out. Now that their story is theirs, Dean will make sure that it's the best goddamned story there ever is.</p><p>
  <strong>The End</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I also have a couple other canonverse stories about these idiots being in love with humour and happy endings so if anyone wants to stop grossly sobbing before the finale, do check out <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21445828">Love is Garnish, Love is Blind</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/16697287">The Nikkah</a><br/>Thank you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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